My Birthday Eve

I was thinking through what the last year brought and didn’t bring. What I learned and apparently what I still need to learn? And to celebrate all the last year brought…. If you are reading this you probably had a moment with me and if you didn’t you better show up in the coming year because it will be the best yet!

When I started typing this I was thinking of all the things that went wrong, what I could have done better. The place I wish I was verses where I am. Then the gratitude voice came in and I started thinking about what an amazing year this was, all the things I got right, the things I kicked ass at. I looked at how far I have come and how I have set myself up to take this year to the next level.

So lets start out with some Kelli WINS…

  • I think I am the healthiest and happiest I have been.
  • More balanced in life (chuckle but its real)
  • I have learned how to say no when I can’t do something
  • I moved into the first place of my own/ just mine plus three. I found it and made it happen!( ok so Karen helped a little)
  • I learned how to put air in my tire by myself – It’s real.
  • Cameron started his sophomore year at Ohio State.
  • Kenzie is the most independent, strong, resilient girl and we jumped from a plane on her 18th Birthday!
  • Emerson is going to school without tears!
  • Mason is an amazing reader, and math rockstar. Also pretty theatrical.
  • I LOVE my job. I feel confident in it, I love the brand and my team. The women I get to work with everyday, inspire me to be better.
  • Dance is still my heart. I think I have learned to lead with my strengths and I know those lift, teach and build great dancers. I also have worked on my weaknesses. It is my happy place, where I breathe easy, a safe place where I am comfortable and I soar. Last year I didn’t know that but I got my ballerina sass and grace back.
  • Amazing friends. I wish for you friends like mine. Who know me, see me for who I am, lift me, show up, make me laugh, tell me when I am wrong and tell me when I am right. Balcony friends who always pull me up. My everything!
  • I learned that in hockey its goals not points.
  • I have had a blog forever but this past year found the space and the words I wanted to share. I have gotten so much positive ballerina feedback. Feels so good to know my words don’t just drift into space.
  • I started taking advantage of airlines points, hotel points and Kroger points…. ( LOL)
  • I traveled…… I am too lucky and too tired to name all the places.
  • I had such a fun summer. No pressure, no meaning, JUST FUN!
  • I found music again.. I think there was a time that music seemed heavy, and the lyrics were too much. I am loving making playlists, sharing them and playing them with my windows down.
  • I took a college writing class.
  • I took ballet classes in LA, NY, Chicago, Columbus.
  • I started running again consistently.
  • I rode my bike 100 miles to End CANCER. ( Yes DAD working on the donation part next year I promise)
  • I read at least 6 books.
  • I had some incredible mentors in work, ballet and in life.
  • I LOVED hard. I am an all in lover and no regrets for being that way ever.
  • I “Marie Kondo” ed my life, my house, my relationships, work, projects and time. BOOM
  • I hiked, alone, with kids, with friends. Love the peak and the views.
  • I chased every sunset and got up early to see lots of sunrises.
  • I got Venmo.
  • I went to concerts, Broadway shows and a few hockey games.
  • I hired a life assistant. I mean this could be life changing.
  • I binged watched too many shows. If you need a show ask.
  • I believe I led with kindness in all ways and in all places.

All the things I learned I need to keep working on.

Letting GO – We all know I love people. I see the best always, and when I don’t see it I hope for it to appear. I know it’s in that person and I know if they try they can find it. The hard part is accepting people for how they are actually showing up and not for their potential. This happens in all spaces of my life. In the dance room. The dancer that I know is gifted and could blow everyone away, but they show up quiet, not focused, no drive and no fight. I can’t want it for them. It happens at work also. The hardest is when it happens in your personal life. When you see the person for so much more then they are willing to give and show up as. I dream big always and sometimes its hard to let go of the wish, or hope or dream of what it could be, and instead accept what is…

Buck UP – WOW we all do this. The going gets tough, things are hard and instead of figuring out the solution or what would improve things we are stuck in the why. Why it is tough, every single excuse, person and obstacle in the way. Generally those things and people are out of our control. So seeing the situation, recognizing it and then doing everything in your power to take it on and make the situation better. Out of the victim mindset.

Don’t sell yourself short – It was brought to my attention that I lead thoughts ideas and feelings by lowering everyones expectations instead of leading with confidence.” I think we will make it when you travel.” “This is probably a really silly idea you would never want to do but… ” I never realized I was doing this and I am going to change it NOW.

Stop trying to prove yourself to people who don’t care and don’t matter- If they are questioning who you are, making you doubt who you are, they aren’t your people. WOW do I do this everyday. I have a side of perfectionist to my personality. I know that seems comical because I am the perfect disaster. I am always trying to explain, satisfy, justify, defend, prove show how hard of a worker I am, what kind of mom I am, friend, sister, girlfriend, dance teacher. The truth is, if I show up as my best self. If I lead with what I know is right. If I am the best possible mom I can be. It won’t matter who questions, argues and wonders. And most likely their questions and confusion are in themselves not in me.

Grace – I think for the last couple years due to circumstance I got caught up in age. What it meant to be getting older? I’m not in my twenties anymore and did that make me less, not as much fun, not as hot and attractive? But guess what….. I have never ever been so confident in what I bring to the table. There is something to be said for knowing who you are. Knowing what you want, knowing what you don’t. Understanding life, work, relationships, children, your body, strengths, weaknesses, who your real friends are. Who really loves you. So this year I promise to just be. Not to question it, not to fight it, just to be.

Those are four pretty big things to work on… Hoping you are alongside for the challenge. Thank you for being a part of my world. It matters and you matter.

My birthday wish is that your list of wins is twice as long, and that the things you want to work on come easy …

Love you much – Kelli ( one year older)

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